The Melody of an Ambulance

i talk out loud like you’re still around

oh! my poemmm:

“I guess at the end you start thinking about the beginning”

i suppose if nate leaves
my plan will HAVE to be:
becoming an assassin
falling in love with another assassin
then running off into the sunset
and killing people
together

yeah i’m pretty much set

So, before I continue with my story, I would like to show you a picture:

This is just some more inspiration for my story, I guess.
Because after careful examination I have concluded that
We are a very cute couple
But
We are also very sad
Doesn’t it look broken?

anyway, onward!

And with that, she knew that it wouldn’t last; it couldn’t last. A force greater than her was working it’s ways on the circumstances. She knew that no matter what she said, no matter what she did, nothing could stop whatever was coming. She just knew. She knew it like an animal knows it when an earthquake is coming. That’s exactly how she knew.

It’s not that feelings were dying out, or even that feelings would ever die out. It’s just that there are some things that are not meant to be or exist; not meant to last. This was one of them, and he would just become another name on the very long list.

————————————————————-

“Good morning hun”

“Morning, baby-boy,” greetings filled with such defeat, yet, never lacking love; never.

She drank her coffee with an uneasiness about her. Ending the relationship then and there would be very dumb of her. She wanted to ride it out as long as possible, sucking up every last ounce of emotion she could get, as painful as it was.

It was as if everything around them was shattered glass, and they had to be very careful of where they stepped. Stepping on the wrong spot would result in bloody, broken feet, or, even worse, a broken heart.

They spent their days almost seperately. They were parallel lines. The only times they would interact were breakfast and bed time. Eventually, even sex was split up. It was just two complete individuals working together towards one act.

And with that, she knew that it wouldn’t last; it couldn’t last. A force greater than her was working it’s ways on the circumstances. She knew that no matter what she said, no matter what she did, nothing could stop whatever was coming. She just knew. She knew it like an animal knows it when an earthquake is coming. That’s exactly how she knew.

It’s not that feelings were dying out, or even that feelings would ever die out. It’s just that there are some things that are not meant to be or exist; not meant to last. This was one of them, and he would just become another name on the very long list.

————————————————————-

“Good morning hun”

“Morning, baby-boy,” greetings filled with such defeat, yet, never lacking love; never.

She drank her coffee with an uneasiness about her. Ending the relationship then and there would be very dumb of her. She wanted to ride it out as long as possible, sucking up every last ounce of emotion she could get.

short story continued tomorrow kjsdf sajf. klskfa lsmdf

so listen,

this is the last time i ever want to see your face again,

okay?

you want nothing to do with me,

and i understand that.

and right now, i want nothing to do with you.

stay the fuck out of my town

so
i went to the movie theatre with nate, erinL, logan, and jazz
we saw The Happening
terrible movie
erinL and i laughed a lot a lot a lot
it was a good time
but
we were leaving the theatre
and we got outside
i was getting ready to say g’bye to erinL
and nate just TORE me out of there
i was extremely confused
“nate, what the fuck?!”
“mike’s back there”
and there he was
there was the big, bad monster, himself
my nightmare was standing directly infront of me
not more than ten feet away
my heart immediately popped out of my chest
and ran in the opposite direction
i followed, soon there after
this immense mixture of rage and sadness came over me on the walk home
let me explain:
michael’s ignored me since the breakup
i am nothing to him,
not even a blip on his radar
and i deserve more than that from him
i expect more than that from him
because i thought we shared these “magical” feelings for each other
but clearly we didn’t
he’s spat all over whatever memory is left of our relationship
and i am hurt
and right now my heart hurts
and my body aches
and i can’t sleep

the ripples on the water
match the wrinkles on your face

:/

*jesus christ, randi, and you wonder why you’re running low on friends

what’re you trying to say now?

*you’re a shitty friend, randi. you’re a shitty person.

i’m not. am i?

but i just try not to think about that
i try not to think about anything at all
because it hurts too much to think about that
i guess i just wish i’d get some sort of call
saying that you’re okay
and that you’re doing just fine
and that you’re going somewhere better
and that you hope i’ll shine
and as for my friends
i suppose we’ll just have to see
but i don’t want to bring them all on this sinking ship
sailing out to sea with me
and what’s left for you and i
who knows what’s in store
i just hope much more
i just hope much more

-CHEESEY AS FUCKKKKK
but it had to be said

where’d you go anyway,
for all those days of hate?
did you frolick with the elves who hide under your bed?
did you listen to your father and the books that he had read?
were you skiing up in maine without the one you love?
did you miss her like you said, or looking down on her from above?
tell me you were fighting that great war, the one that put the world to sleep,
or exploring the grand canyon, trying to take the biggest leap?
where’d you go anyway
for all those nights of fear?
were you running way too fast to be seen with the naked eye
or just standing up in the clouds, pretending you could fly

- and once again, TO BE CONTINUEDDD

and i am reminded
that anyone can hurt you
at any given time

well
i’m only inspired when i’m sad
thus, i will be the world’s worst writer
be prepared, world!

where’d you go anyway,
for all those days of hate?
did you frolick with the elves who hide under your bed?
did you listen to your father and the books that he had read?
were you skiing up in maine without the one you love?
did you miss her like you said, or just her looking down on her from above?
tell me you were fighting that great war, the one that put the world to sleep
promise me you’ll never leave again, i’ll put you in a place that i can keep…

blahlalalala

i’ll work on that more tomarrow
i’m going to bed

fuck today

like i said a long time ago
you learn pretty fucking fast who your real friends are in this town
and it’s not always who you think

my therapist
is the most reasonable person i know
and last night
it was the end of our session
and he said
“wow, randi, i’m really impressed”
i was so happy
i am getting better,
slowly,
in my own way
don’t ever tell me different
because i know i am
and i when i think about it
i can honestly feel it
not everyone makes progress in the same way
so stop
just stop

don’t wait for me
i’ve got a lot to do!
i’ve got a lot to be!
and in the end
maybe i’ll see you there